[Brace yourselves. Matt wrote this one.]
Butt first about Mead,
The komon and sum what korrect thinking is that Mead is the drink of the gods kings and poets…
Well its sum what true, The Gods eye am sure wood love mead and according to legend (the Norse sagas and sum of the keltik legends) the drink of jhoise four the Gods was often Mead. Four instanse the daily life of the residents of Valhalla wood bee wake up fight your friends and fellow heroes till ya die kome bakk to the hall in tyme four diner witjh wood inklude roast bore beef and wenjhs all washed down bye Mead! In the Greek tradition Ambrosia a wine made of honey was used by Afroditie to saduse Gods and men alike. Mead is also konsidered to be an afrodesiak (hense the knonektion to Affroditie). It was also konsidered Kapable of producing a male heir if drank for one full month hense the honey moon…
Personally Eye think if their ever was a drink of the Gods properly made Mead wood defanatly fit the bill. Ass far ass kings are konserned the probably rather half wine (yuk) only because it was more expensive and harder too akquire (poof tas any way). Poets we all no or should no drink watt ever they kan get their grimy pas on seeing how the lot of them are generally broke. Ass far as an afrodesiak Eye half many reports of this working for friends. The Honey moon part ? Of the three weddings that my Mead has been involved in only one jhild and it was a boy… knot mine thank the gods four birth kontrol…
The reel pervayour of Mead In my esteemed opinion would half two be the komon farmer and the warrior working klass. And Eye dew half my reasons first Mead is realitivly easy two make at home, Sekond all the ingredients yew knead to make it grow wild probably near your home. And being one the first alkoholik beverages diskoverd bye man everyone knew how two make it…
Sew lets begin
Eye generally make five gallon batches ending up with around twenty four liter bottles.
What yew wheel knead
- Two karboys = five or six gallon glass jug (plastik will work butt gives odd flavor and Eye hate plastik)
- A very large pot like for to five gallons(enameled kanning pots work good)
- One large funnel food grade!
- Big dam stirring stikk
- Bubbler air lokk
- Some Kind of sanitary siphon hose
- Two kases of one liter wine bottles
- Twenty four korks (the reel deal not the krappy plastik ones)
- One hydrometer four jhekking gravity (so’s ya’s know’s howz mujh alka hole derz iz hikup…)
- Food measuring stuff (teaspoons measuring kups etc.)
And now four the ingredients:
- Honey! 14Lbs yes 14Lbs about two gallons!
- Gypsum 2 Tbsp. (get the food grade stuff don’t tear apart your walls)
- 6 tsp. Acid blend (kuts bakk the alkhole flavor sitrik malik and another Eye kan’t remember)
- yeast extract 2 tsp. Gives yeast something to jhew on
- Irish moss 2 Tbsp. (klrarifier yes its even from Ireland)
- One pakkadge liquide yeast for sweat Mead,
- Two tsp. Epsom salts(makes everything go a little faster)Yew kan get most of this stuff from a home brew store there should be one near yew if not homebrew heaven is on the web thats wear Eye git everything.
Now two begin,
Keep in mind friends this is knot rokket siense illiterate peasants kan make this with no supervision. Eye usually am drunk whilst making mine and yew should be two.
The trikk with Mead is to keep everything klean and sanitary sew step one is too klean your karboy, bubbler, funnel and hydrometer get all the krud off and then soak everything in a strong bleajh solution for at least five minutes Eye usually leave everything in the bleajh until eye am ready to poor.
Now put around two gallons of water in your brew pot and turn the heat on high really high.
Poor in the honey (yes all fourteen pounds of it) it poors better win its a little warm.
Add your gypsum acid blend and yeast extrakt. Bring the hole mess to a boil remember to stir, honey kan and will burn. Important note bringing this to a boil takes around an hour butt don’t walk off boil overs are instant and inkredibly messy.
Boil for 15 minutes skimming the goo off the top its mosty protein and assorted other krud and getting rid of it now means ya git klearer Mead and less mess later. After the fifteen minutes add the Irish moss boil for another 5 minutes.
Now go bakk to yer karboy and rinse it in hot water don’t forget hydrometer and funnel
add about 1 gallon kold water to karboy (if ya don’t win ya poor the hot mash in it will brake your fansy new giant glass bottle=) of korse this is wear the funnel and a more sober friend komes in handy. (p.s. This shit is heavy). Top of with klean water until about four injhes bellow top of karboy ad your bubbler. Set outside over night two kool off .
Soon ass you’re done tossing the karboy outside retrieve you’re yeast from the fridge and pop the little bag inside it plase it somewhere warmish.
Now get piss drunk and go to bed…or not
The very next knight bring in your Mead and jheck the original gravity if yew like (Eye usually don’t bother with this step but if ya wana no how much alkhole ya half two) it should be some wear in 1.1 ta 1.3 range
Now sanitize your yeast pakage with bleajh solution rinse in kold water remove bubbler and poor kontents of bag into karboy (karefull knot too poor inner bag in). Replase bubbler drag the hole mess over to where yew wheel hide if four the next three months too a year and shake vigourusly to arreate the mead this is importante. Top your bubbler with water and seal tightly and now yew weight. After two or three days it will start two bubble a little and their wheel be a thikk skum at the bottom should be one bubble every 10 sekonds oar less.
After three to six months the bubbling will slow to one bubble every min too min 30 at this thyme kleen and sanitize your sekond karboy and siphoning gear. Two start the siphon Eye fill it full of klean water sew there is no air bubbles in it. Then plase your original karboy on a counter oar table without disturbing the krud on the bottom and karefully place siphon into karboy #2 drain all butt the krud of karboy 1 into karboy 2 place bubbler in karboy 2 and dew sum more waiting.
After another three too six monthes (six monthes to a year after starting) and the bubbling has either stopped or its more than two minutes between bubbles yew are now ready to bottle!
Karefully klean all of your bottles a dishwasher helps a lot for this if your bottles are really gross ya knead to skrub them out with a bottle brush (dishwasher detergent is great for this) then to sanitize place all bottles in dishwasher with about a kup of bleach and run on rinse four a kouple minutes. Take your finale gravity measurment and with sum math Eye never bothered to use fugure out the alkhole content (should be 1.02 1.023 or right around 15%) now sanitize yer siphon gear and place karboy on kounter next to dishwasher. Mean while boil those korks for at least five minutes.
Now the fun part open dishwasher plase bottle on door and fill with Mead and using a korker or hammer(korker is the whey to go) kork into bottle. Rinse and repeat around 23 more times. Let the bottles sit over knight our until kristal klear(their will be a little krud at the bottom of the bottle it looks gross butt is wont kill ya) Eye usually don’t half to Wait more than over night for the bottles two klear.
Onse bottles half kleared jhill and drink.
P.S. Dew knot drink mulled Mead or spiced Mead Or Mead in eys’s Kream all yew will taste is alkhole Unless yer into that kinda thing…
P.S.S Most home brew stores will halve the things yew knead to get started in their beginner kits also The New Complete Joy of Home Brewing by Charlie Papazian is an exsalent book for the beginning home brewwer it kovers everything from Mead to wine and hops and barley Korn from growing and malting your own to keging your home brew inkluding laws of the land.
P.S.S.S It is perfektly legal to make your own home brew in limited quantities (under like 500 gallons!) however it is illegal to transport or sell home brew
P.S.S.S.S If ya want to make smaller batjhs just devide the above ingredients by five and werk yer whey up.
Git shit fased the intire time ya work on this and it will turn out a lot better than expekted =)’