Pop corn how to

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[This guest post was contributed by my husband Matt, who has a unique writing style.]
This hear is one of those overlooked skills that people take for granted . . .
Most times today ya either toss a bag in the MICROWAVE (yuck) or, you guessed it, they sell it already popped at the store, what a waste of money. Those of you who have the old air pop makers, well, you suck so there . . .
So here is the how to on making killer popcorn at home for dirt cheap.
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Standard-issue popping corn.

Get your self some regular popping corn. (Bottom shelf next to the macro wave “stuff.”) You might be surprised at the price difference.
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2 quart saucepan.

Grab your favorite sauce pan – you know, the 2 qt thing you’ve been packing around since you moved out of mom’s house.
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A glass lid lets you watch science in action.

Make gods damned sure you got a lid that fits it.
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Canola oil.

Now add approximately 1 teaspoon cooking oil. (Olive, soy, corn, canola, whatever.)
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Turn the heat up to medium high.
Butter!

Butter!

Add whole stick o’ BUTTER (the real thing and definitely no Margarine). Try bacon fat and let me know (eye is scareded).
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Just enough popping corn to cover the bottom of the saucepan.

Whilst it is heating up pour in enough popping corn to just cover the bottom of the pan. Too much and it overflows pushes the lid off and presto instant mess! Too little and, well, you can’t eat just one.
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Go ahead. Stare.

PUT THE LID ON NOW!!! Now wait. Once it starts popping, give the pan a good shake to settle everything down and let the unpopped kernels settle to the bottom. Repeat regularly until done.
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After a few minutes the popping will slow down and nearly stop.
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Immediately pour finished popcorn into waiting bowl. Add too much salt, pop in your favorite movie, and enjoy.
A few of my more common screw ups are: lots of unpopped kernels from not shaking enough (but there will always be a few . . .). Burning: this is mostly from trying too hard to get more to pop – all that really happens is the popped stuff is stuck next to some really hot surface – if left too long it can and will catch on fire – yay! Too much oil makes the bottom stuff kinda soggy. Taking the lid off to see whats happening inside – while it can be fun (always reminds me of a baby sitter I had growing up . . .) – is very messy. I stole one of Amanda’s glass lids that fit my pan for this purpose, so now I can stare into the bubbling mass of butter and wait for the first real good pop to startle me! Too much popping corn and some won’t get enough contact with the heat to pop and it becomes a waste. Too shallow of a pan can make a big damned mess too . . .
Enjoy.
— Matt
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