One of the things I decided I “needed” when I began my all-encompassing to make my house look, as I put it, “like grownups live here,” was a wreath. Well, four wreaths. One for each season. Just one little thing to stick to the outside of the house to let the neighbors know that, despite the fact that I am, once again, boycotting lawnmowing, I am fully aware of the season. Yes, we’re alive in here.
Have you priced good-looking outdoor wreaths? Jesus tapdancing Christ! If you want a circular wall weed rated to withstand a little moisture and which doesn’t look like it was cobbled together by the seeing eye dog of a blind person with questionable taste living in a kitsch factory, you can expect to pay $50.00 for a little one.
If, however, you are patient and vulture-like and cruise the thrift stores weekly, peering into every aisle on every visit, and you can think ahead, you can score a cute, simple number like this for $5.00. I also recently picked up my spring wreath at the Goodwill. Now I just need a summer wreath and I’ll have accomplished another supremely housewifey thing. I expect to hear a loud DING! or receive a small certificate in the mail. (Kidding.) (Sort of.)
I love this weird, satisfying feeling that I’m, like, an adult. I pay the bills ahead of time and I get this little rush (after the crushing defeat of parting with an entire paycheck just after depositing it, of course). I remember to send someone a birthday or anniversary card and I’m like, “Hold up, Martha.” I’m 32 and I’ve finally mastered the ancient art of getting all my side dishes to be done at the same time as myentrée. (It’s nice toget through meal preparation every night without having to call my mom in a panic.)