I’m the boss of me, but it might be too much responsibility

teal hair 1 wm

My hair matches my cardigan! And look — I’m wearing both eye makeup and contact lenses! That hasn’t happened since my wedding in 2007! So much crunchy gel! So many exclamation points! Wow!

Somehow it only recently occurred to me that as a recluse self-employed person married to a person whose hair color used to cycle through the rainbow and who prefers to sing “What a Wonderful World” with the lyrics “I see hair of blue, black lipstick, too,” I would face no penalty, and likely only buttloads of encouragement, if I were to dye some or all of my hair a color not genetically inheritable by my species. When I mentioned to Matt that I had been thinking of getting a Rogue streak or a band of green in my hair he replied “Do it! Do it!” And then, pointing his spoon at me and looking grave, “Do it,” in a threatening tone.

I am happy to report that, while it was an incredibly time-consuming process (particularly for someone who has only ever used boxed dye kits from the health and beauty aisle of the supermarket) it was cheap and easy and not much messier than boxed dye. I’m afraid it might be addictive, though. I’m already trying to figure out where else I’d like a pop of color on my noggin.
When I turned 30 I decided I was going to stop dyeing my hair. I let it do its thing for about two months before I freaked the hell out and ran to the store for a box of my beloved Garnier Nutrisse. Under 10 years of #20 Soft Black was a startling amount of gray. Asked to estimate a percentage I said 50, but after a little online research I am forced to admit it’s more like 20%, but that’s a lot to get used to all at once. I dialed down the pigment to #40 Dark Brown for a slightly less garish contrast with my wintertime pallor, but I gave up on the no-dye experiment. Now that I’ve had a little taste of the good stuff, though, I have a new plan. When I turn 40 I will do as my favorite librarian of all time did: skip the bleach and dye just the gray a candy color. Granted Mrs. Anderson had an advantage by having naturally super-black Asian hair, but my natural color is still pretty darn dark (think Hershey bar) so it’ll probably work. Man, if I could be half as cool as Mrs. Anderson . . .
Incidentally, do you know how hard it is to take a selfie? I took fourteen pictures in the bathroom before I decided that getting a decent angle was going to be impossible.

And then another 6 in the living room. You can see me getting progressively less thrilled with the process.

Flimsy excuse to try making an animated gif, eh? This is what procrastination looks like, folks. When you’re supposed to be editing you’d be amazed at how productive you become in every other area of your life. My bathrooms have never been this clean. I’m even thinking of vacuuming out my car.

— Amanda

P.S. Gifs were made at GIFMaker.me, which was super easy to use and thoughtfully did not slap a watermark on my finished product.


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