Interesting facts omitted from my “About the Author” page

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My squeezebox.

I love humorous “About the Author” pages. For example:

“Adams lived partly in Islington, London, partly in Provence, France, but mostly in airport bookshops.” — The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, 1997 Ballantine Books edition

“Allie Brosh lives as a recluse in her bedroom in Bend, Oregon. In 2009, she thought, ‘I know what would be a good idea! Instead of becoming a scientist, I should write and draw things on the Internet!’ This was a horrible idea for too many reasons to count, but the decision wasn’t really based on logic. (. . .) Brosh has also given herself many awards, including ‘fanciest horse drawing’ and ‘most likely to succeed.'” — Hyperbole and a Half

I considered writing a funny description of myself for Ellipsis, but since the book is not overtly humorous (though there are one or two scenes that make me snigger) I opted for a very short and rather plain listing of my name, where I live, and that this is my first published book. For Camp NaNoWriMo in July I will be making my second attempt to finish a paranormal buddy comedy book. If that one makes it to publication maybe then I will have an excuse for a tongue-in-cheek “About the Author” page.

So here are some completely true, but also amusing, facts that I did not include on the last page of Ellipsis:

  • When I eat an apple I eat the core, too. All that is left is the stem.
  • I was born on a Friday the 13th.
  • When I wrote stories as a kid (longhand) I used a wavy underline under sentences intended to be read in a sarcastic tone of voice.
  • I have a speech impediment so mild it cannot be heard, only seen. And, apparently, only by trained professionals. (You cannot even hear it when I am drunk.) If I find out that you are a speech therapist I will not speak in front of you for love nor money.
  • My digital voice recorder is named Diane. So every time I make a note, I begin with “Diane . . .”*
  • I once had a (semi-legal) pet opossum. He was pretty awesome.
  • I play the toy accordion. Not a “real” accordion, but a little 7-button children’s model. I have tried a variety of stringed and wind instruments and this is the only one for which I have any talent.

And here’s some facts about the book

  • This book was my 2013 NaNoWriMo project.
  • This book is being published now because it is the first book I have finished writing. I currently have three unfinished manuscripts on my hard drive (and backed up in the cloud), some of which predate the creation of Ellipsis by three or four years.
  • The idea for this book was sparked by reading a magnificent piece of fan fiction.
  • The original title was Zen and the Art of Grifting.

— Amanda

*If you found this fact mundane you have not watched Twin Peaks.

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